Getting ready for the holidays

All of the Christmas boxes made their way into our family room this afternoon. The kids oohed and aahed over every little thing. This is really unusual for us. Usually we're not so on top of things around here. Last year we took our road trip to Ohio for Thanksgiving so we were really behind by the time we got home. The year before we had just moved into our new home so we were still getting things all settled and unpacked. I think the year before that I was just plain exhausted. Our 4th child was still a baby so I was plum worn out with having had 4 kids in 5yrs. Anyway...I'm determined to have things done a little earlier this year so we have a while longer to enjoy the beautiful decorations.

Now that all the Thanksgiving festivities have died down a bit, I need to do some major cleaning around here. I am still in purge mode so it has been wonderful to clean things out. Amazingly enough, Jayden, is wanting to purge along with me. It's such a wonderful feeling to get rid of stuff, especially right before the holidays.

Wallpaper is off the walls in our entry so now we're trying to figure out how to scrub the leftover paste off the walls before we can texture and then paint. We have so many house projects it's very difficult to decide which is most important. The wallpaper was an easy decision since the cats were having fun using it as a scratching post. Little by little and its all coming along slowly.

Now I have a few magazines to thumb through and then it's off to bed for this tired gal. Have a wonderul Sunday!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

It's not often that I thank God for the struggles, failures, disappointments, hurts and difficulties in my life. As I have been reflecting today on what I am truly thankful for, I was reminded that the struggles I have had to deal with this past year have only brought me closer to the Lord Jesus. I had a choice to make and that choice was either to run away and give up or to press on and say help me Lord Jesus. I can't possibly do this on my own. I have no one else to see me through this.

A while ago I decided I needed to share with others about my struggle with depression, anger, and bitterness. Amazingly enough, after I began opening up, others shared they were dealing with the same struggles and felt so ashamed and didn't feel they could talk about it. Not only has my pain drawn me closer to Jesus, it's also been an encouragement to other young mom's who desperately need to know they are not alone.

So today I am thanking God for so many wonderful blessings but also thanking him that he gives us just what we need to help us draw nearer to him.

Have a wonderful day celebrating this Thanksgiving with family and friends!

Rainy Days

We woke up to sunshine today. It was a glorious morning but by 10:30, the clouds started rolling in. I had to make a run to costco and by the time we walked out of there, it was raining. It hasn't stopped. I was really looking forward to a sunny day and playing outside for a while. Oh well...instead we stayed in, curled up and read some books, visited with a friend, had a nice warm cup of coffee and curled up with a movie. We decided to have some fun and make a fort in the family room. We got out the flashlight and read for while in our fun little hideout. It turned out to be a cozy day.

I'm still freezing cold though and still wearing my coat. Yes, I do walk around with my big winter coat on half the time. We have some heating issues in this house that we are still trying to figure out. The upstairs of our house get's nice a cozy warm but the main floor is always freezing no matter what the temp!

Looking forward to more cozy days this winter. There is some speculation that we could see some snow in these parts in the next few days. We'll see what happens. I'm all ready and stocked up with the necessities though...hot chocolate and popcorn! Now all we need is a good movie and some good books!

Wounds of the Heart

Why do I continuously go back to those old wounds, re-opening them and causing them to bleed again? At the moment it feels so good and right to go back there and revisit. As soon as I go back, I regret it. The pain and hurt all come back like a flood, not only for me but for my loving husband. He has to bear the brunt of the wound. Having thought it was buried and long forgotten, he has to revisit it along with me. Where does this flow from?

I can't seem to stop once the wound is open. It's painful and it hurts. I feel alone...desperately alone. Someone, anyone, come rescue me. Take me from this painful place so I don't have to face this once again.

Tender and loving, he puts his hand to my cheek, looks deep in my eyes and tells me he loves me. I feel it and I begin to soften. Little by little, the anger and hurt close up.

Jesus, please take this from me and close this wound.

Thank you Jesus!

Thankfulness

We are starting to think about Thanksgiving and how we want to celebrate it this year. We have begun reading so many wonderful stories. Today, after reading some of Squanto, the kids decided it would be wonderful to have a celebration feast! They were busy making cards and thinking of special people to invite to join us. There are so many things to be thankful for.

I am praising and thanking God he has been providing answers to some health issues I've been having. It's been a long battle with extreme anemia, depression, adrenal dysfunction, pain in my legs that has been unexplainable, food allergies, and emotional ups and downs. I'm so thankful I have the energy to love my kids more and better and I'm able to school them better, listen more, give hugs and cuddles, go on walks, play outside, make yummy snacks, and sit and talk with them. The list goes one....

God is Good All the Time and All the Time, God is Good!

Quiet Fridays

The last few days we've enjoyed nature walks in the beautiful but unusual very warm sunshine here in Oregon. It's been so wonderful to see all the different colors of Autumn, smell the fresh crisp air, and taste the goodness of fresh baked fall pumpkin muffins. God is so good to us and I have been soaking up his goodness all week long.

Fridays we tend to have a lighter school load and enjoy more reading and fun activities. We're almost finished with William Bradford Pilgrim Boy. We can't seem to put the book down, we're all so eager to get to the end. We're almost there though and highly recommend you read it. It's a pretty easy read and perfect for Thanksgiving time. Next we will move on to Squanto and then to The Chronicles of Narnia. I am really looking forward to this one as well. I have been reading For the Children's Sake, Laura Bush, and Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman. All good reads and vastly different.

Have a wonderful weekend enjoying the goodness of God.

Simplicity

This past year has brought much conviction about stuff. Material possessions tend to take over our home in every nook and cranny. I began to feel overwhelmed by all that we have. I just couldn't seem to find the space and the time to take care of it all. The kids would go from activity to activity dumping and throwing. I began to wonder if all this "stuff" was overwhelming for them too? Why do we think we need so much? Why do we continue to act as though material things will bring us some sort of joy or satisfaction? Slowly I began to realize even if I got rid of half of our things, we would still have a lot. We are teaching our children about other countries, cultures, children, and families and trying to teach them how blessed we are. Right now we are learning about India. We have learned that most of the country lives on 1 dollar a day! That's right! ONE DOLLAR! It's unthinkable! We have much to be grateful for.

With what and how am I filling my time and how are my children filling their time? How is it that stuff begins to own us and not the other way around?

It's amazing how children can find such pleasure in the simplest of activities if we would just allow them the time and do away with all the plastic, tv and videos games.

I began cleaning out and dumping, selling, and giving away. What a wonderful and freeing thing it is! I still have a ways to go and I am still a bit overwhelmed with stuffness but we are getting there and well on our way to becoming a simplistic home. The atmosphere is so much more peaceful and pleasant, it's so wonderful that we don't have heaps to clean up. I can spend my time doing other things instead because I'm not wasting so much precious time cleaning and putting away!

I'm thankful God is opening my heart and my eyes so that I might see.

Acceptance

Jesus calls us to love and to accept no matter how different people are or how different their beliefs are from ours. He wants us to be a light in this dark world. To reach those who are difficult to love, to accept those who are different, to lay aside our desires and put others first. Those who are strong, are so because God has allowed them to be for a reason. Let us love the weak and accept them as Jesus accepts us. Show grace because we were first shown grace. Let us invite those who are weak to eat with us around our table. To share the love of Jesus, letting our lights shine bright.

I confess...I have not loved or accepted the way Jesus has called me to. Ashamed, I come before the throne of grace, thankful for the one who gives freely.

Scents of Autumn

Autumn is my favorite time of year. I just love the smells and sights all around me. Here in Oregon, we've been having some wonderful weather. The leaves are turning beautiful colors. We've spotted several squirrels digging and storing in our yard and blue jays appear carrying nuts for the winter. The scents coming from the kitchen are some of the most wonderful smells in the house in the fall, warming us all up and bringing comfort to our little hearts. We've been enjoying sipping lots of tea and coffee and enjoying some good reads during snacks, lunch and in between times. We're thankful for the sunshine in these parts as sometimes the gray clouds and rain can be quite tiresome.

Time to take the pumpkin bread out of the oven and get ready for my mom's Bible study tonight. Enjoy this beautiful day that the Lord has made!

Roller Coaster Days

It's been one of those days.....ever have one? It started with a little girl who's not feelin so great and wound up in my bed at 5:30am. My dear hubby had a 7am meeting so I was flying solo. Sweet girl, Kaleah, never went back to sleep and neither did I with all of her coughing, sniffing and sneezing in my ear. After I finally dragged myself out of bed, I had to deal with another sweet child who wet her bed. Sascha is 3 1/2 and has not wet her bed in months. I was trying not to secretly get irritated with hubby since he was the one who suggested we skip taking her potty before we fell asleep. BIG MISTAKE! After I cleaned her and her bed all up, I heard shrieks coming from Jayden's room who said one of the cats pooped in his room on the carpet. So began the chasing of the cats to put them in the laundry room so I could clean up the mess! Four shrieking kids and 2 wild crazy cats on the loose....We were finally able to begin school at 8:50 am but I really wasn't wanting to do anything by this time except curl right back up in bed! My mind was not focused on my Bible reading either after all the craziness and the kids weren't wanting to settle down for school. They were all wound up and ready to run wild! We had our ups and downs all morning and finally I decided to make a trek to Costco and get the kids out of the house. How can you make a roast with no carrots, potatoes or onions? Small detail I overlooked when meal planning. OOPS! Kaleah has decided that for this year she doesn't want me to make her B-day cake. She wants to order one from Costco. I finally gave in and so we went to pick one out for Friday.

It was a crazy day but I am thankful to have a fresh start tomorrow! To top it all off, all the kids loved dinner and said it was delicious! Couldn't ask for a better end than that!

Reading

Have you ever tried to teach a child to read? I have been discovering how rewarding and fun it is to finally see a child "get it." My sweet kinder daugther has been on and off again trying to read for the past year. We had to give it a break a few times since not only daughter was getting frustrated but mommy as well. I am so glad we persevered after the 3rd time. It's amazing to see this puzzle coming together. Our first child, Jayden, went to public school in kindergarten and a classical christian school for 1st grade. Last year, his 2nd grade year, we decided to home school after the christian school closed for financial difficulties. I didn't get the pleasure of teaching him but it was awesome then to see how it all came together. He loves reading any free second he has or can sneak in. Since hubby and I are such avid readers, it's such a joy to see our kids loving it as much as we do. This time around, I'm the one teaching my daughter how to read and it's so exciting! I'm not sure which one of us is more excited about it but she is working hard and it is finally starting to pay off!

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I had my second Bible study group tonight. A while back I had decided I needed to start a group in my home. Wasn't sure who was going to come or if anyone would for that matter but God has sure blessed our group. We are reading Sally Clarkson's book Dancing With My Father. It's a book about finding true joy in the midst of mothering. So far it has been so wonderful. Since our last meeting there are 2 new women who are joining us so that brings our total to 15 wonderful mom's. I am so thankful for this group of women. It's such a blessing to hear what's going on in their lives and hearts and to hear how God is working, changing, molding and shaping each of us in different ways. If you could use some encouragement in your walk as a mom, check out Sally Clarkson's books. She has written several books and each of them has touched me in a profound way. My heart as a mother has been changed and I am so thankful for what God has done in my life.

As I begin this blog, my hope is that you will be encouraged in some way. For so long I have hidden who I am, not allowing people to see the real me. Fear of not meeting expectations. Dealing with depression, anger and bitterness. The list goes on...

In the last several months I was convicted that I really needed to start sharing with others and giving them a glimpse into who I am and what I've been dealing with. Amazing things started happening. I saw that I wasn't alone. So many people are dealing with the same issues. Healing had begun. God is working and he is real.